


Never Gonna Get You Off

by rhysgore



Series: Classic Who Prompts [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Inappropriate contemplation of the Doctor's fetishes, Masturbation, Memes, Other, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 20:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1701821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhysgore/pseuds/rhysgore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nyssa is a woman of science. Naturally when questions are asked, or even presented, she's one of the first ones looking for answers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Gonna Get You Off

**Author's Note:**

> if there was ever a piece of writing i would hate myself for, it still probably wouldn't be this one. no regrets.

What do you think he gets off to? The Doctor, I mean." Near-simultaneously, Tegan and Turlough started choking on their food. Nyssa looked at them both with a disbelieving eyebrow raised as they struggled to breathe. Tegan was the first to recover, coughing up the tea she had been drinking, taking a few gasps of breath, and then turning to stare at her friend.

“ _What??_ " she asked, thumping Turlough once or twice on the back as she did so. Nyssa sighed.

"Tegan, I’m not nearly as…" Nyssa’s face twisted slightly as she searched for the correct word. "…  _Fragile_  as you think I am. And I’ve already worked it out for the two of you, though I think you’d both rather I didn’t prove that fact.”

Tegan and Turlough looked from her to each other, and rapidly shook their heads.

"But I can’t figure out what does it for the Doctor. And it’s driving me crazy. So, I though I’d ask you two if you knew since you both actually had sex with him."

This time, Turlough was nearly blue in the face before he managed to cough up what he’d been attempting to eat.

"That’s actually kind of frightening," he said once he’d recovered.

"Sorry."

"I don’t actually know, though."

Nyssa blinked. “Really?” Turlough shook his head.

"The.. The sex and everything is nice, but there’s nothing to indicate that he has any type of fetish whatsoever. Maybe we’ve just not done it enough, but the Doctor is the most vanilla person I know."

"Same here," Tegan said, "but we might need to have a talk with him now that we know he’s been having sex with both of us."

As they went on discussing their sex lives, Nyssa crinkled her brow and frowned. That couldn’t be  _all_  there was to it. She knew the Doctor well enough to know better than that. He had some sort of fetish, no doubt about it. But just what exactly was it?

*

The Doctor had just completed his nightly ritual. He had brushed his teeth, washed up, put on his nightclothes, and said goodnight to his companions. Only one thing remained before he went to sleep.

"Now for some ‘me-time’…" the Doctor muttered, pulling out a datapad and lying back on his bed. With one hand, he pulled up a local wireless network, and the other he slipped below the waistband of his pants, rubbing his half-hard cock lazily.

With a few keystrokes, he had come to what he was looking for. The Doctor’s eyes widened slightly, pupils dilating with arousal as he looked at the rage comic. His cock grew stiff and heavy in his hand, and he pushed his pants down, stroking himself faster. With another flick of the Doctor’s fingers, the image of a trollface appeared, and he moaned wantonly.

Faster and faster he pumped his cock, scrolling through meme after meme as he did so, hips jerking, breath coming in short, erratic bursts until with a cry, the Doctor came all over the “Me Gusta” face on his data pad. He slumped back onto the bed, spent, boneless, and sated, with a slight smile playing around his lips, and fell asleep shortly after, still thinking about everything he wanted Rick Astley to do to his body, all of which was possible given the fact that he owned a time/space machine.

 _Maybe that’ll be our next trip…_  The Doctor thought as he drifted off.  _Maybe…_


End file.
